Shame and disgust.

I don't have any reason to lie to you to make you this angry. I'm so close to being with you, I never want to be without you.

I can't handle my alcohol and if I were with you this would have never happened. When Ira showed up I was already having a few drinks. I freaked out when he said that he was going to disconnect the telephone. I admit unplugging the line, I recall doing so for nothing more than attention. I wanted to feel cared for after the nasty things Ira had said to me. I then tried plugging it back in and remember not being able to do so because I couldn't see the wall connection as I became totally loaded on wine, rum and the remaining vodka that was still here. I stumbled lots and when I ended up by bruising my ribcage on the corner of the living room table, I gave up and passed out on the floor where I landed.

This blog is here for all to see, my friends read it, my family reads it and Shannon has access to it as well. I wouldn't make this up as there will be repercussions-plenty of damage-anger-disappointment for me to recover from after it has been read by all. I share my testimony as a show of love, and I do love you very much.

"Better to be criticized by a wise person than be praised by a fool." Ecclesiastes 7 : 5

Teresa.

Happy Easter

There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever. 2 Corinthians 4:18

Paul warned, "Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is on its way out." 1 Corinthians 7:31,

I dream of food

I dream about food... different ways to prepare it beyond the so called "cook book" standard. An addition with a pinch here or a pinch there, pulling from my chef when I was in Florida, we were always encouraged to make a meal "our own".

Hmmmm.... what shall I make today?

I wish that I had an oven, Mine has been defunct for so many years (blame this on the EX since 2002 when he was living in this home. Home?). It doesn't stop my creativity as my microwave is also a convection oven..but still, with my cooking level...he should have fixed it. I think that he was stiffening me...Power and control... he likes that.

MY CREATIVITY SHALL NOT BE HAMPERED!

If only he knew. However I find great joy knowing that he doesn't know, and it brings me great comfort to know that he doesn't want me. PHEW! Finally he'll stop showing up in the middle of the night, just to not sleep in my bed.

I think this blog went well past dreaming of food.

What a Prick.

Teresa.